So, I’m excited to say that the meat of this particular post was written by a good friend of mine, Jordan Geiser. I began to put some thoughts together a few weeks ago detailing how good relationships can have a tremendously positive impact on a person’s health and well-being, and consequently on their overall hormonal profile (including insulin sensitivity).  Cold medical speak doesn’t really work so well though, when you’re talking about relationships with other people. At least that’s what my exes keep telling me. And so, with that in mind, I could think of no one better than Jordan to talk about the way that the health of a person’s relationships, and that of their physical body are inseparably intertwined. Jordan has a B.S. in Social Work, and has spent a great deal of his personal time in counseling and support group settings, learning how to build healthy relationships with others. He has also just recently become the personal property of his lovely bride Marie, an over-educated social worker, and they are building a beautiful life together in Jackson, TN.

“So I’ve put off writing this blog post, not because I didn’t know what to say, but because I didn’t feel qualified enough to say it. I have a bachelor’s degree in behavioral sciences (social work specifically) and took a few classes in counseling for graduate school, but I still don’t feel qualified. I haven’t done years of researching, and performing studies trying to discover the correlation between mental/physical health and relationships. And after a modest amount of searching the ‘googles’ for resources, I realized that there aren’t many journal articles or studies related to this topic, let alone the specific equilibrium between a person’s relationships and how they feel or how active they are (maybe it’s just so obvious that no one has thought to study or write about it (or maybe I’m just a lazy researcher)). Therefore, I decided I would use my own experiences as my examples/proof for my opinion.

            I believe that there is a constant connection between the relationships you have and your mental/physical well-being. I think this because when I hug my wife, I feel good. But it goes much deeper than that. I’m talking about that bear hug when my arms are completely wrapped around her. I’m holding her so close and so tight that I can feel the breath in her chest and smell the fragrance of her shampoo as I rest my head on her shoulder. This hug is more than the release of dopamine in my brain or a way that we communicate affection. This hug connects us in that moment. We drop everything else dividing our attention and we are fully present with each other. She knows that I love her, and I am there for her, and I know she loves me and is there for me. This hug is a small but powerful example of what strong healthy relationships can do for a person’s mental and physical health. You see, this is a hug that restores in me a sense of clarity. I become less anxious about the tasks of my day because I know that she is there for me no matter what happens, for better or worse. This hug fosters a stronger relationship between us, this in turn gives me motivation to be the best me I can be. I know, that is incredibly cliché. But if you have had a hug like one of these, you know the effect that it can have. It is a comfort and a reassurance that everything will be okay.

            The relationship doesn’t have to be a spouse either. Maybe it’s your best friend, your siblings, your parents, your grandparents, a teacher, the list goes on and on. The main thing is that it is a healthy relationship free from all things toxic, like abuse, neglect, judgement, or shame. The relationship needs to be humble, nurturing, and mutual. It needs to be empathetic, which basically means that it needs to be real, honest, encouraging and vulnerable. These types of positive, healthy relationships have a huge impact on our lives and well-being. They help us grieve death, cope with divorce, overcome addiction, fight terminal illness, and rehab injury.

            These kinds of relationships, however, offer a great deal more than just a shot in the arm of self-esteem and dopamine. They can encourage us and give us a determination to accomplish incredible things. They can help us find or give us purpose in our lives. They can pour into us a self-worth strong enough to reach our dreams and overcome the negativity or adversity we may face on a daily basis. So, I encourage you to be this kind of friend, parent, spouse or whatever to whoever, because it will heal and uplift not only them, but you as well.”

            Is there anything more beautiful and uplifting than seeing a healthy relationship at work? Late night talks with close friends. A husband embracing his wife. A mother kissing the latest in a long line of scraped knees. Positive contact with other human beings boosts energy levels, improves cardiovascular health, and lowers cortisol (stress hormone) levels. And you can bet that when these things improve, so does your overall quality of life, making it a lot easier to leave that carton of ice cream in the freezer, or better yet, in the trash. So please, take Jordan’s advice; go call your mom, hug your spouse, share a kind word with a coworker. I guarantee, both body and soul will thank you for it. And if nothing else, remember that obnoxiously cliché old Irish toast: “There are good ships and wood ships, ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, and may they always be!”